Why Do I Suffer?

Suffering, as with all emotions, is an experience. We don’t have depression, so much as we experience depression. We experience depression, as well as fear, confidence, joy, melancholy, confusion, foggyness… indeed, all emotion/feeling states, due to the brain/body producing the specific neurological conditions (I call it “brain-juice”) that causes us to feel what we feel. When the neurotransmitters, et al. fade, so does the sadness, and feelings of worthlessness. While pharmaceutical companies are studying what chemicals and processes “cause” happiness, sadness, and fear, as a psychotherapist I work with the how and why of emotions (suffering and happiness).

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the phenomenon that negative thoughts and beliefs often lead to negative emotions (believing “I am worthless” often leads to feeling worthless [depression], and positive thoughts and beliefs [I can do it!] lead to positive emotions and feeling-states [joy, confidence]).  Trauma-focused therapists (such as those that do EMDR and IFS), as well as psychodynamic, and body/energy-oriented therapists, informed by the latest research on trauma, see depression and fear often as by-product symptoms that are the result of past experiences that are stored in the brain and body, as memory, at conscious as well as sub-conscious and non-verbal levels.

Unfortunately, the human brain that has experienced danger or threat is often wrong in believing it is still in danger. Similarly, a child’s brain which took in the belief that (s)he is unlovable, or not good enough, will often hold that belief forever. In these cases, we suffer because the information about the past experiences has not been re-processed and re-integrated in the memory (and identity systems) such that the person realizes that they are safe, healthy and worthy of love and connection.

Further, the nervous system, trying to keep us from danger, also often keeps us stuck in shut-down or protective states (depression, fear, anxiety, low self-esteem). Getting the nervous system to let go of its defenses so it can see that it really is safe, good enough, lovable, connected, and good… is what I will do with you.